Deb's Digest

TRIP ADVISOR

2012-02-10T07:26:00.000-08:00

I often do bits of work as a mystery shopper / diner and I enjoy it. I'm so glad that my views will be used to - hopefully - improve poor service. There have been so many occasions when we've walked into a pub hoping to find a roaring fire and decent food but end up leaving having encountered neither.
Recently on the way to Harrogate we called into a pub that had been taken over. It looked ok from the outside and we were in need of sustenance and warmth. We parked up and walked in. It was dark, it was cold, there was a smell of disinfectant and the chairs were caked in grime and dust. I wanted a non-alcoholic beer which wasn't stocked. Ok then, a tomato juice but not a chilled one. Sorry, only chilled. We left. We were so disappointed that I put a long comment on Trip Advisor. I've just had a reply from the owner. He says he's worked through my list and now has roaring fires all day, stocks non-alcoholic beer and has taken on two cleaners. I began to feel really sorry about my comments but no, I've decided that I may have helped him on the long road to success - I really hope so and I've told him we'll call again next time we're out that way.
Today we went out for lunch to a lovely pub in the country. But again, it was spoilt by being freezing cold. There was a candle on every table but not one was lit. I couldn't even bear to take my gloves off to hold the menu, so yet again, we left. We returned to an old favourite where there was a roaring log fire and decent food - it was packed, which just goes to show that good management will bring in the money.

LETTER FROM SOUTHPORT

2012-02-09T00:42:00.000-08:00

I was delighted this morning to see that The Times had used my letter - and bottom right too (prime position!). I actually knew last night that it would be in because I checked online. There are always a few "smart" comments made by the same people underneath the online letters and as usual there were some accompanying my offering. However, one comment made me smile. It was from someone called "A. S." who had gone to the trouble of working out that this was my 20th published letter, adding: "well done indeed". Very nice of A.S to keep track but I'm pretty sure that's wrong because my tally gets it to 26. Now I'm going to have to check.

Hopping and bopping

Sir, My vinyl copy of Crocodile Rock gave me more for my money than any of the digital versions (letters, Feb 6-8). However, I only realised recently (now aged 60) that the extra verse I had got used to singing along with was the result of a scratch, probably inflicted during my 21st birthday celebrations.

Deb Atkinson
Southport, Merseyside

MAGIC

2012-01-30T00:16:00.000-08:00

Twice in the last week I've seen the space station glide across the dark, morning sky behind our house. A magical experience. I haven't even bothered to train the telescope on it for fear of missing the experience of seeing it with my own eyes. I've just about mastered viewing the moon through the telescoipe - and Jupiter at a pinch,

but I must be doing something wrong because, although I can see other planets through the viewfinder, I find it frustratingly impossible to get them into view when using the eye piece. Any minute movement of the telescope and the target completely disappears. I might have to resort to binoculars.

KIND & CONSIDERATE

2012-01-29T23:43:00.000-08:00

I've written before about Oscar and the super-powers that he keeps up his sleeve. Generally they are used to blast baddies and from my observations any new child who crosses his horizon is a baddie until proved otherwise. However, with the help of a Spiderman tattoo, the super powers came into their own when we visited Giggles Gym on Friday. I was settling myself into a comfy sofa with a coffee when Oscar came belting across the room, cheeks flushed and curls flying. "A little girl needs help," he shouted, before belting back, up and over a Krypton-Factor-style assault course, to reassure the girl in question. I've seen Oscar proffer help to toddlers before and it's not always welcomed or gentle so I kept an eye on things. Within seconds he was back: "the little girl is stuck and she wants her nanny" he panted and then was off once again to see if he could rescue her. When he next returned, I managed to grab him before he could race back and together we went in search of the nanny. We located her, reading a magazine and totally oblivious to the drama that had been unfolding. "Oh yes, that's Ellie," she said, adding "I can't get her I've got a bad back." Oscar now had a name and shot back to Ellie yelling it and then demonstrating how she could get down from the high ledge, but Ellie wasn't budging. There was nothing else for it, I spun round on the spot, changed into superwoman and was led by Oscar over a climbing wall and up a tower to where Ellie was cowering and whimpering. She seemed to think I was a child abductress and the whimpering turned to real tears. So Oscar grabbed hold of her legs and tugged. It worked, and although the fall was not very elegant, Ellie was now in a position to get down to her nanny, while holding Oscar's hand. He was the hero of Giggles Gym and there was just one brave act left for him to do. He clambered all the way back up to rescue his grandma.

Yesterday we were visited by a little dragon bearing gifts. Oscar had made two big bowls of apple crumble and wanted to share it while it was still warm. One bowl for us and one for his great grandma who normally shares her sweeties with him.

THE INN AT WHITEWELL

2012-01-25T12:11:00.000-08:00

Our Christmas present from our London-based son was a voucher to be spent at The Inn at Whitewell near the Trough of Bowland. This is one of our favourite areas and is only an hour's drive from home, so I don't know why we don't go there more often. The Lancashire scenery is beautiful and quite different to that in Yorkshire - I was trying to decide what made it feel different as we drove down the country lanes, past banks of snowdrops. I think it's cosier than the Yorkshire Dales - as if all the beauty is crammed into a small space - waterfalls, fast-flowing rivers, old stiles, little villages, hills and lambs. We enjoyed a lovely lunch in front of a log fire, had a walk round Whalley and then visited Boundary Mill, where I managed to pick up a £197 skirt for a tenner and a top marked down from £97 to £5. A good day all round.

ORANGES AND LEMONS - AND GRAPEFRUITS AND LIMES

2012-01-15T07:45:00.000-08:00

When we visited my aunt and uncle in Kent I admired their citrus trees - each one was bending under the weight of magnificent fruits. Never did I think that within a few weeks I would be the owner of four fantastic specimens. Together with my cousin, they sent them as a 60th birthday present and I now have a new hobby - talking to the trees! They have become an obsession. I study them, water them and feed them as though they were children and I even have a citrus app on my new ipad. My uncle rang to ask how they were doing and wanted to know what names I had given them - no, really?

WHERE DID THE TIME GO?

2012-01-15T07:28:00.000-08:00

I had just about decided to abandon this blog. Who on earth am I writing it for? Who does anyone write their blogs for? Why should anyone be interested in someone whom they've never met's life (is that even English?) ? My family read my words (when they're at a loose end) but they know what happened - they were there at the time and from my observation, people outside the family seem to prefer to follow blogs where the writer is either unhappy or ill. Why is this, is it to sympathise or is it morbid fascination?
I am certainly not unhappy and as far as I know I'm not ill so there can be little here to interest anyone! However, I'm here, writing this, so I presume my conscious searching has concluded that I must continue informing whomsoever lands here about my life.

Well, I was 60 just before Christmas and not only did I receive my bus pass and my first free prescription but I was given a most beautiful ipad 2 from the three children. This was completely unexpected and I'm still discovering new and interesting things about it. For instance I can now find out where every plane that passes over our house is going to and I can discover the name of every star and planet that I can see from each window of the house. Three-year-old Oscar seems to know more about it than I do and can successfully crack open eggs and lead chickens into the correct hutch with a single swipe of his finger.

Both Oscar and Hugo were too poorly to bother with much present-opening on Christmas Day but made up for it a few days later and dinosaurs, airports, board games and rattles made walking across the carpet very hazardous.

Oscar and his uncle play elves

while Hugo goes for a Christmas pudding look

We may as well have held our New Year party in A&E. Not only did my mother decide it would be a good place to spend New Year's Eve but two neighbours agreed. They say things come in threes, so let's hope that's it!

Oscar now attends his little pre-school class every morning which makes him seem very grown up. He has super powers up his sleeve and tends to express this by racing towards people with his right arm outstretched while making shooting noises. This can be a bit disconserting and not everyone takes kindly to it so his daddy told him that it would be nicer to have a rainbow up his sleeve which would make sad people happy. This is all well and good but the recipient will be none-the-wiser because the action of racing around with his arm outstretched while making shooting noises remains the same, be-it for super powers or rainbows. I'd witnessed this super power business while Oscar was at a local play area and had seen a number of little children running away from him pretty speedily, screaming as they did so. This, combined with fearless behaviour on the play equipment made me think he was turning into a bit of a toughy (good for him) so I was surprised when, on the way home, while he was sitting in his car seat he said : "I'm very delicate aren't I Grandma?"

CLIFF

2011-11-23T11:44:00.000-08:00

Something not altogether pleasant must have happened in my brain. I can only put it down to the fact that I am definitely aging. Today I was playing a Cliff Richard Christmas CD (a give-away from the paper) in my car and I was enjoying it! "Mistletoe and Wine" is (was) my all-time most hated song and yet there I was singing along! I fervently hope that this new-found Cliff groupiness has something to do with me being a bit of a rebel. If the radio stations aren't going to play his music then I am. But a big part of me is very worried that this is the new me. Next month I shall receive my bus pass in the post - then what? Heaven save me from Barry Manilow.

Oscar has already identified all the age spots on my hands and face, although I call them beauty spots. This week when I was sitting next to him in the car he stared at my neck. What is it this time, I thought. "What's that red thing on your neck?" he asked. "Is it a beauty spot?" I said. "No it isn't", "is it a line?" "no". I told him to point to it on my neck. "Well, if it isn't a beauty spot or a line, it must be dirt," I told him. He leant as far away from me as he could, within the confines of his car seat, looked at his finger and wiped it on his jumper. I should think that the entire pre-school fraternity now believes that Oscar's grandma has a dirty neck.

Oscar's mummy says that when she was last shopping with him, he saw a toy that he fancied. "Put it to the back of the shelf and we'll tell Father Christmas to save it for you," she told him, cleverly thinking on the spot. She carried on shopping but began to wonder what the supermarket shelf-stackers were looking at. When she turned round she saw that Oscar had pushed almost everything to the back of the shelves in preparation for Santa's visit.

UNBELIEVABLE

2011-11-14T08:43:00.000-08:00

A couple of weeks ago I decided to sell a painting that had been hanging on our dining room wall for all of five days. It was bought in a charity shop for not very much by my mother.

I put it on ebay and over the ten days that it was there it hovered around the £100 mark. Five minutes before the sale was due to end it went through the roof and then into the clouds, came out the other side and almost hit the sun! It was my Antiques Roadshow moment. And the profits will see me through Christmas. Well done ebay - but now I'd like to discover what it was the bidders knew - and I'm a little afraid that the next time I see it might be on the real Antiques Roadshow when it will be valued at £10m

LONDON

2011-11-14T08:33:00.000-08:00

Just back from a lovely fast-paced weekend in London during which we saw The Jersey Boys, took in a wonderful illuminated manuscript exhibition at the British Library

looked round our son's Covent Garden office, visited family members in Kent and had a guided tour of beautiful Muswell Hill.

I find it amazing that areas of London which are only minutes from the centre by tube can be so villagey, hilly and attractive. Even the chewing gum, so ugly on pavements elsewhere, has been turned into an art form in Muswell Hill.

What a brilliant idea

Our travels have also taken us to Hull recently where our daughter lives. I knew nothing about the city apart from what I'd read - and generally that wasn't very complimentary so I was very pleasantly surprised to find a beautiful marina full of magnificent yachts

as well as a fantastic fish restaurant, where we had lunch, overlooking the harbour.

Meanwhile, Hugo is desperate to be as grown up as big brother Oscar

ONE MAN TWO GUVNORS

2011-10-14T01:02:00.000-07:00

After the Bob Dylan let-down I hardly dared hope that One Man Two Guvnors would be as good as all the reviews had claimed - but it was. It was the funniest thing we'd seen, possibly ever. It got off to a bit of a slow start and as usual other audience members were falling off their seats at things we couldn't raise a giggle at. I began to despair. However, pretty quickly it turned into a real old-fashioned slapstick farce with a waiter like Mrs Overall on Acorn Antiques almost stealing the show. There was ad-libbing with the audience and James Corden was just brilliant.

I'm sure Oscar will keep the laughter going when he comes to play today

.....someone has already taught Hugo his first party trick

BOB DYLAN

2011-10-11T01:28:00.000-07:00

Yes, he's 70 and allowances have to be made, but if you take £75 a ticket from fans and then don't even say hello and add insult to injury by raspingly shouting song words into a microphone battling with an over-loud band you shouldn't be surprised by a review giving one star out of five - which unfortunately, I saw in the paper after buying the tickets.

This was a prime example of ripping fans off in a blatant attempt to feather his pension nest. I only recognised two songs because everything he sang sounded the same - rasping, shouting, with loud music. And "Don't Think Twice" was three-quarters of the way through before I latched on to the fact that that was what he was "singing". I felt particularly sorry for the people in the seats opposite ours because for almost the whole show, Dylan had his back to them while playing the keyboard behing two giant speakers. He refused to have close-up screens and his hat completely hid his face. So it could even have been someone of 5ft 2ins in cuban heels impersonating him for all we knew. Plenty of wine and beer was swilling around the MEN and some old-timers were jigging around appreciatively but this morning I bet they can't remember why.

Mark Knopfler was the support act and Dire Straits were my all-time favourite band so I had high hopes. But I just don't like his new stuff. He got the biggest cheer of the night when, almost as an afterthought at the end of his slot, he treated us to "So Far Away" - one of only two Dire Straits songs he managed to fit in.

So my message to self is - don't try to recapture your youth. It just has the opposite effect.

WINDOW ON THE UNIVERSE

2011-10-09T23:57:00.000-07:00

I've always, always wanted a telescope. Stars and planets fascinate me so when an old school friend decided to have a clear out and was selling her husband's remote control model, I jumped at it. It's now all set up and pointing the right way. When I first got it home I knew nothing about viewfinders or lenses and was looking through the wrong bit of the telescope with it pointing at a door. I told my husband that I thought we must have broken it during the journey between my friend's house and ours. He is much less technically-minded than me so when he said he thought it was facing the wrong way I sent him off to golf with a flea in his ear. However, just before giving up completely, I turned the telescope round - lo and behold I could see our neighbour's chimney pot. So now all I need is a clear night. I just hope our neighbours don't watch Spooks or I might get a call from our local bobby.

FOOD POISONING

2011-10-04T00:24:00.000-07:00

We don't often see our younger son. He lives and works in London so when he and his girlfriend visit, my shopping trolley overflows, I spend the previous week baking and working out menus and we try to make sure they enjoy their stay. This time I poisoned him.
Knowing that belly pork is one of his favourites, I bought the biggest piece I could lay my hands on and left it in the oven for a whole afternoon. The skin was crisp and the meat delicious. He loved it. So as they left to drive back to London on Sunday I packed a bag with plenty of food including the delicious pork. The journey home took them six hours, thanks to the baking heat and the traffic. Starving by that time, our son tucked into the pork. Food poisoning took hold at 7am and continued throughout his busy working day and into the evening when he had his first lectures at Birkbeck College for his Masters degree. I think it'll be a long time before belly pork re-enters his list of top-ten favourite foods and it will be even longer before I forgive myself.

CAMBRIDGE & TWO BIRTHDAYS

2011-10-03T03:13:00.000-07:00

We love to trade on the fact that our younger son went to Cambridge by going each year to the Alumni Weekend. For two days we get a little taster of what university life was like, going to lectures and mixing with very clever people. It's a real treat. This year we were played sounds from the universe by one lecturer who had raised the frequency of the sounds given off by the sun and various planets and meteor showers. The normal frequencies are much too low for human ears to pick up, which is just as well or we'd all have to shout to be heard against the sound of the sun rumbling away in the background. Another talk was entitled "Are Your Genes to Blame When Your Jeans Don't Fit?" and surprisingly (to me anyway) they could be. Apparently a deficiency of something called leptin can make people put on huge amounts of weight. All interesting stuff and the best bit is that we can sit and listen and it doesn't matter one jot if we forget it all afterwards - no-one is going to test us!

David Starkey was a controversial speaker - talking about his biography of Henry VIII - praising him and telling us how misunderstood he has been over the centuries. All the while I couldn't help remembering all the beautiful monastreries that we've visited which are in ruins thanks to that 'wonderful' king.

Our younger son celebrated his 28th birthday on the same day that Oscar celebrated his third. Family celebrations were put on hold until this weekend when everyone was together. Oscar loved the dinosaur egg that his uncle gave him but was desperate to find out if the baby dinosaur that would emerge when the egg was submerged in water, would be real. In fact dinosaurs made up the birthday theme with jigsaws, sticker books, rubber models and story books among his presents. And when I stood on the bitrthday boy's doorstep holding the train cake that I'd made, a crestfallen Oscar said "But I wanted a dinosaur cake". I had to remind him that three weeks ago when the cake was being discussed Thomas the Tank was flavour of the day.

It reminded me of the television programme Outnumbered when Oscar was whizzing around on his new motorized quad bike. After doing a perfect three point turn on the pavement and running over my toes in the process, Oscar then swung his machine into his front path with his dad shouting: "stop now Oscar, stop Oscar...STOP" as Oscar careered up the front step and straight into the hall.

Quad bike and dinosaur helmet - of course.

CUSTOMER SERVICE

2011-10-03T02:46:00.001-07:00

While waiting on the phone to speak to my internet service provider this morning and being told that the advisors were too busy to take my call, I stripped three beds with the phone wedged under my chin, re-made them, hung the washing on the line, emptied and restacked the dishwasher, made a coffee, completed two of today's sudokus and then managed to solve the problem I was calling about.

1 YEAR 11 MONTHS AND 16 DAYS..........

2011-09-20T23:58:00.000-07:00

I have just double-checked my state pension date (surely not old-age pension these days?) and the countdown has begun. The government site tells me that it will come my way in one year, eleven months and 16 days. Now I have a dilemma. I'm tempted to chalk up the digits on my office wall and score them off day by day like a prisoner in solitary confinement but if I do that I'll be wishing my life away. I'm very happy at 59 years, nine months and four days and apart from looking forward to my pensionable age, I'm not that desperate to be 61 years eight months and 20 days.

More to look forward to in December, free prescriptions - hurray! And a bus pass. Can I really be that old? Apparently I already look it because last week when I travelled by bus with Oscar the driver asked me if I had to pay. Cheek.

Thomassy Rabbit

2011-09-17T00:27:00.000-07:00

When Oscar came to play yesterday we spotted the fat robin in the garden. I asked Oscar to give him a name and suggested Robert. "Thomassy Rabbit" he said without hesitation. Thomassy Rabbit is in the garden again now waiting for his breakfast and normally I would call to him, but I think I'll just leave it for now.

I taped the dinosaur programme the other night in case Oscar fancied watching it. Some of it It was rather gruesome but I thought I'd fast forward through those bits. Yes, said Oscar, he wanted to watch it, and he positioned himself on the settee furthest from the television, torch (on) in one hand and football rattle in the other. As soon as a dinosaur appeared that wasn't one of his favourites, the football rattle was put to good effect- continuously until the dinosaur had left the screen.

LATIN & A LETTER

2011-09-05T23:37:00.000-07:00

Last month I enrolled on a distance-learning Latin course, run by Cambridge University. I've wanted to learn Latin for many years but it doesn't feature on any local college itinerary. I hope the course will eventually enable me to do what I want to do - which is understand the many Latin phrases I see dotted around in all sorts of reading matter. But I'm not convinced that reading about the cook preparing a peacock and the slave creeping into the dining room and tasting the peacock while his master sleeps, is exactly the way forward. However, I will persevere because this is the very same stage at which I ditched Latin when I was 15 and surely I've grown up a bit since then.

I was surprised to see a letter of mine in the Times on Friday. When I checked the paper's on-line site late on Thursday night it wasn't showing up so I presumed it had been binned. Reading the letters page on Friday, I thought someone else had written in on the same topic - then I realised the words were very like mine. Hang on, they were mine......

Hit the high notes for less than £10

Sir, Enjoying an opera in the Royal Opera House, means, for us, an expensive rail trip to London, plus the cost of an overnight stay (letter, Sept 1). This problem was briefly solved when a production was beamed live to a cinema in Liverpool. From our £8 seats we watched the London audience chat, heard the orchestra tune up and then as the lights went down, we were given the best view of the performance with close-up camera shots.

Since then other operas have been screened but none of them live. As there is nothing to match a “live” performance, could I make a plea for more of the same. There are many opera lovers north of Watford.
Deb Atkinson
Southport, Merseyside

MY FRIEND THE ROBIN

2011-09-01T11:40:00.000-07:00

Whenever I look out of the kitchen window, there's my little friend. He was very curious when my husband had some turf delivered the other day.

PLEASURE ON LITTLE LEGS

2011-08-28T23:50:00.000-07:00

We saw quite a bit of our two little grandsons last week. Hugo came for his first solo visit and spent three hours chuckling, sleeping and guzzling milk.

I was lucky enough to win BBC studio tickets to see Mr Tumble at the BBC's new Media City complex at Salford. And on Saturday we went with Oscar. It was a slightly surreal experience overall, what with Mr Tumble yelling (quite nastily) at the crowd that he couldn't help the torrential rain that we were all standing in while he was on a covered stage and Oscar yelling in reply "It's behind you..." because he thought he was at a pantomime. I reckon Oscar was happier with his ice lolly and two balloons than he was with the man himself.

On Sunday I went with Oscar and his mummy to a family church service. I explained to him that the kneeling cushions which were hanging on the pews had been embroidered and were for people to kneel on during prayers. The minute the vicar said: "Let us pray" Oscar shouted "it's a prayer" and set to work, unhooking the cushion, throwing it down and kneeling on the reverse side. He really enjoyed banging a tambourine during the hymns (how church services have changed. I use the word 'hymn' very loosely, these versions were more like pop songs and sung from a digital screen, not a hymn book) and was tested to the limit when he had to keep his drum stick away from his drum during a ten-minute sermon. The truth will out though and Oscar's sermon verdict was "this isn't very good". Actually it was all about keeping our integrity and how we shouldn't go shoplifting with friends just to remain popular (I don't think I have those sorts of friends) - as we filed through to the porch to shake the vicar's hand, I realised that I still had one of the children's books from the church toy box, under my arm. Perehaps the sermon had been directed solely at me!

PAGE EIGHT - NOT WORTH THE WAIT

2011-08-28T23:29:00.000-07:00

Bill Nighy and Michael Gambon - my top two favourite actors ever. I'd looked forward to last night's screenplay "Page Eight" ever since watching the trailer. WHAT AN ENORMOUS LET-DOWN. The script was like something from a junior school play. Michael Gambon just about carried it off but then he was carried off - a third of the way through. I watched until the end in the hope that things must get better but they didn't. Not one believable character, a pathetic plot with no tension and Bill Nighy was absolutely wooden. It was the worst thing I'd watched in a very, very long time. I'll look out for the next thing written by David Hare and avoid it like the plague.

Why didn't he run from the script?

WHAT'S THE PROBLEM?

2011-08-22T23:14:00.000-07:00

I found some old adverts the other day. From that golden era pre-political correctness / health and safety and human rights.

WORM V TIGER

2011-08-22T23:06:00.000-07:00

Oscar went to Knowsley Safari Park yesterday and met a lady with face paints. She asked him what he'd like to look like. "A worm" he replied. That must have been a first because she admitted that she couldn't do a worm. Next choice was a butterfly which his mummy reckoned was a bit effeminate so Oscar was given the choice of a moth or a tiger - well, which would you choose?

GENERATION F

2011-08-21T01:34:00.000-07:00

Just after the riots I was listening on the car radio to a debate on the causes . I expected the usual soft soap, probably talk of how these thugs had been abused in childhood and almost certainly a hundred reasons why they should be excused. I was ready to shout my reply and change channels when on came a soft-spoken Irishman who I'm pretty sure was reading from a script that I'd written in my mind. Common sense from someone who had worked with disaffected youngsters. Since then I have read that other people were also listening to Winston Smith (obviously not his real name, but since he still works with miscreants it's not in his best interests to be identifiable) while driving and had to pull over to take in what they were hearing.
When I got home I Googled him and bought his book. "Generation F" should be compulsory reading for every politician. The hand-out system in this country is an absolute disgrace and I really object to money I have paid in taxes being used to pander to the whims of no-gooders. If you haven't read it, I recommend it wholeheartedly. It's an eye-opener.

CRASH COURSE?

2011-08-21T01:22:00.000-07:00

Am I the only person who wouldn't fancy a course in crashing while learning to drive......?

I've just spotted a new photo in amongst Oscar's daddy's Picasa albums - either Oscar has very generously given his life-long companion to Hugo, or I see trouble ahead!

THE DALES AND A FLOWER SHOW

2011-08-21T01:12:00.000-07:00

If, at gunpoint, I was forced to choose just one area as my favourite in the whole world, it would have to be the Yorkshire Dales. When we're there - as we were this week - I want to swirl round and round like Maria in The Sound of Music and just absorb all the beauty.

We found a perfect little retreat in the grounds of a 16th century manor house and when we drove up to the cottage every evening three lovely dogs would come bounding across the sweeping lawns to greet us. We were surrounded by plum, apple and pear trees and there was honeysuckle round the doorway. And all for £40 a night!

As soon as we got back we went with Oscar to the Southport Flower Show - beautiful weather this year, which is almost unheard of. Not much fun for a two-year old though, when all he could see were people's knees.

His mummy and daddy bought him a quad bike as an early birthday present.

But only after he had sampled everything with four wheels in Toys R Us

TORCHY THE BATTERY BOY

2011-08-12T12:13:00.000-07:00

Today Oscar was playing with a torch and I've absolutely no idea how I delved into the deep recesses of my ancient mind to recall Torchy the Battery Boy - a programme I must have watched when I was knee-high to something or other. Isn't the internet fantastic. Within two minutes I had a black and white episode playing on my computer and Oscar was transfixed. He sat still for almost half an hour and when I asked him half way through, if he'd had enough he didn't hear me. He even watched as the credits rolled at the end. I love this sort of thing - children enjoying good old-fashioned innocent entertainment.

He also loves baking with his mummy and daddy

long may he stay the way he is now!

A FONT IN THE BATHROOM

2011-08-12T11:56:00.000-07:00

Our old pink bathroom suite finally gave up the ghost. It was time to look for a new one. I'd become a bit rusty on bathrooms and silly me for thinking that I could just walk into our local bath and basin supplier and buy another pink suite. PINK? was the response I got. It seems the world has gone boring and everyone wants white. "WHITE?, no thanks" was my response. So our new white suite was installed yesterday. I have to say that it didn't look that big in the showroom. My husband says that when he looks into the wash hand basin he gets vertigo and Oscar and Hugo's dad has asked if he could use it for Hugo's christening. Anyway it's not going back because I've decided it's a very happy room now, when anyone walks in, they can't stop laughing.

Following on from Oscar's comments about my wrinkles and his dad's about the bags under my eyes, I asked Oscar today if he knew what ankles were. He pointed to his knees. So I rolled up my trouser leg to show him what ankles were. "You've got VERY big ones" he laughed. I suppose I asked for that.

Our daughter and friend have just returned from a scorching week in Sorrento. Being football fanatics they decided to go and see Sorrento play one evening and went the whole hog, buying a Sorrento football shirt each. They described how they strode down the road to the ground, full of pride wearing their new strip. They said they were getting some strange looks on the way in and presumed it was because they were plainly not locals. As they took their front-row seats they looked around expecting to see all the other supporters dressed like them. Slowly it dawned on them that their shirts were quite different from everyone else's - but why? After and hour and a half of sliding down in their seats and taking up the foetal position they left, anxious to know just what shirts they had been sporting. Apparently Sorrento has two teams - the one that was playing, and another rival team five divisions lower, yes. you've guessed it!

Our daughter's friend told us that she knows a mum who has told her little boy that the ice cream van only plays a tune when it's run out of ice cream! Ingenious.

OUT OF THE MOUTHS OF BABES....

2011-08-06T10:00:00.000-07:00

At 9am today I was waiting for Superdrug to open. I wanted a tube of the latest wrinkle disguiser. The reason? - While having his dinner at our house last night, two-year-old Oscar fixed his eyes on one particular part of my face, but politely said nothing until I asked him what he was looking at. "What's that?" he asked. "What's what?" I countered. "that" said Oscar. I asked him to point to whatever it was that had so caught his attention. He plainly didn't want to touch "that" but indicated the area under my right eye. Not being able to see the offensive part of my face myself, I told him that it must be a beauty spot and that grandma had lots of beauty spots because she was very beautiful (I hope this wasn't relayed to my daughter-in-law). After he'd been ferried home I took a long look in the mirror. No, it wasn't a beauty spot, in fact I couldn't really see anything out of the ordinary. I repeated the conversation to my son - Oscar's daddy - and he reassuringly said that he must have meant the bags under my eyes. If my bags and wrinkles are so noticeable that they're worthy of comment by a two-year-old then something has to be done. Superdrug's £9.99 Optimum serum has certainly got its work cut out.

Meanwhile, Hugo wouldn't yet know a wrinkle if he saw one.

TODAY'S LETTER

2011-07-29T01:27:00.000-07:00

I was pleased that my letter was published in today's Times. I don't often submit letters on serious topics but I was glad to get the opportunity to talk about internet forums.

Demons within

July 29 2011 12:01AM

Sir, I wonder if the people who write the sort of abusive e-mails and letters that Matthew Parris refers to would repeat the words face-to-face (“Scrawls well . . .”, July 28). Poison pen letters have always existed but the internet, and particularly “forums”, seem to bring out the very worst in some individuals who can be as spiteful and vicious as they please while hiding behind a screen.

Perhaps, as Mr Parris says, “we all have something of the monster inside us”, but I like to think that some of us have less than others.
Deb Atkinson
Southport, Merseyside

ELVIS V SHAKESPEARE

2011-07-22T10:45:00.000-07:00

I just can't make up my mind. We saw The Merchant of Venice performed by the RSC at the Royal Shakespeare Theatre in Stratford on Wednesday and it was hugely entertaining but in a weird way. Roulette tables, Las Vegas, Elvis, game shows and American accents dominated the three hour play. Although I know the play inside out I found that after half-an-hour, I had no idea what was happening. So I decided to "go with the flow" and just sit, watch and enjoy. In the main, Shakespeare's beautiful language was completely lost (although the script was word-for-word Shakespeare's play) in the American drawl, glitz, singing and dancing which was a real shame. However towards the end we were treated to a truly touching scene when Shylock (Partick Stewart) demanded his pound of flesh and acting I will always remember as Antonio quivered and shook - hands tied above his head wearing an orange Guantanamo jumpsuit, waiting for Shylock to stick the knife in. It was certainly a new twist on an old theme but I'll have to revisit the play in book form to remind myself of what I missed.

R&R?

2011-07-08T23:33:00.000-07:00

Not sure about rest and recuperation. We've just got back from a lovely two-week cruise, all round the Med. Everything was going swimmingly and in the diary I keep for my mother, I'd just written: "The holiday has done us good. We feel great." That was a BIG mistake because the very next day (final day of the cruise and the packing day) we hit what the captain described as "a big depression and a huge swell" in the Bay of Biscay. Neither of us suffer from sea sickness (obviously, or we'd be very silly to book cruises) but that did for us. I spent the day between the cabin bed and the bathroom. Every time I tried to get out of bed to pack I was thrown across the room, and head-swimming, had to fall back in. In the end my husband did my packing as well as his own. Once out of the Bay of Biscay we both improved, but only enough to have melon slices brought by room service for our evening meal. Driving home we felt shattered, looked rotten and wondered whether we'd ever book another cruise - EVER.
Things didn't improve the following morning, when, feeling much better, I was up at 5am to attack the washing and ironing. I slipped on the top stair, bounced down four steps bruising my back and spraining my wrist and fingers and while I was at it I threw a cup of coffee in the air splashing the wall, our new carpet and ruining my clean dressing gown. As is my custom, I rang Mum at 8am to ask how she was. She'd fallen. Hurting her back, wrist and fingers.

What a swell party - the evening before the big depression!

Seeing Oscar again did a lot to restore our spirits and while we've been away he's learnt to say "please may I...." instead of "Oscar wants...." which is all well and good but more often than not the "please may I..." was uttered when whatever activity it was referring to was already underway! Still, it sounds very, very polite.

We brought him back a Portugal football shirt bearing Ronaldo's name so now my husband is going to teach him how to dive.

And Hugo has been doing lots of smiling

HAPPINESS!

2011-06-22T12:34:00.001-07:00

TABLES ARE TURNED

2011-06-18T00:11:00.000-07:00

Something very disconcerting happened yesterday. We were all put firmly in our places by a two-and-a-half year old. Over lunch Oscar spotted that Grandad had a sliced up apple on the same plate as his sandwiches. "Grandad has pudding on his lunch plate. Oscar not allowed to do that," said Oscar. I told him that I was so old that there was no-one to tell me what I was allowed to do and that if I wanted a raspberry with a fish I would have one. "That's very cheeky" said Oscar looking me straight in the eye.

Then we went to Great Grandma's house. Great Grandma let slip that she didn't like sour oranges. "Maybe when you're bigger," said the wise one.

THE GARDEN

2011-06-16T08:04:00.000-07:00

I sit out on the patio for hours on end when it's sunny, surveying the plants and flowers so today I took some pictures as a record of what's out in mid-June.

Fortunately our son took some photographs of the lovely birthday cakes made for us by a neighbour. I'd been cursing because we cut into one of them at the party on Saturday before I'd had the opportunity to take some myself.

But the highlight of the week is Hugo's first smile

THE BARBEQUE

2011-06-13T00:51:00.000-07:00

Ever since we booked our 60th/65th barbeque for June 11th we'd been fretting about the weather. How would we cope with 70 muddy shoes on our new creamy-coloured carpet if it rained. All week it poured down and then two hours before the bbq team came to set up, the clouds parted and lo and behold, there was the sun. It kept shining in a pale blue sky for the rest of the day. The air temperature may have felt more like we're used to in February, but that was a small price to pay.

As people filed in they were saying "What a lovely picture of you both". I looked around the hall but couldn't make out what they were talking about. "outside on the garage" they said. Had they had a few before setting off? I went outside to humour them and there, on the garage door, was a huge banner......

And apart from being very proud parents/grandparents every second of every day, our hearts (as our neighbour put it) were prouding over! And if I'm honest, a big part of me was saying "YES!" when I noticed that there were no apostrophes to be seen!

Hugo was much admired

and managed to sleep through most of the racket.

We cut the beautiful cakes made by a very talented neighbour

And at the end of the day Oscar and Grandad had a lie down on the bouncy castle

TAKE THAT

2011-06-08T03:22:00.000-07:00

Although I'd always had myself down as an optimist, I think that deep down I'm a bit of a pessimist. For yesterday's Take That concert I expected to get lost on the way to Manchester City's stadium; I thought I'd never find a parking space; I took a blanket, cagoul, umbrella and spare shoes in case it was cold/wet; I packed binoculars because I thought we'd never see anything and I was absolutely certain that the nose-to-tail journey home would take at least four hours.
In the event we drove straight there, parked without a hitch, sat in the baking sunshine with a great view of the stage and then roared away from the car park and were home by midnight. Oh, and the show was great too. The Pet Shop Boys were better than I ever remember them; Robbie got a 45 minute slot all to himself (a bit overindulgent I thought) and Take That put on a spectacular show. My friend and I weren't the oldest there by any means but we must have looked our age as we tucked into Fry's Turkish Delight and bottled water while all around us were waving bottles of wine and pints of beer.

STAG DO

2011-05-28T00:27:00.000-07:00

Our London son is on a stag weekend in Tallinn. I must admit I had to look Tallinn up in the atlas. I've now managed to find a webcam overlooking the town (which looks beautiful - although I doubt if the 16 lads will be doing much sight-seeing). And using the planefinder web site I tracked the Easyjet plane from Stanstead airport all the way to Estonia. My husband must have been fed up with me telling him to come and look where the plane was - passing over the North Sea, now over Holland - oh look, over Denmark and so on. He rang the night before he set off and we asked what sort of luggage allowance he had. The answer was none - well actually, he had an allowance but all the boys had decided that they would only take a bum bag and that any clothes would have to be worn. So I had visions of them all with three pairs of underpants and socks, two pairs of trousers, two shirts, two jumpers and two jackets - just as well it's a bit chilly in Tallinn.

IS IT SUMMER?

2011-05-28T00:16:00.000-07:00

Every single day during May I have looked out on grey skies, often driving rain and all my beautiful plants and trees being bent and tossed in bitterly cold, gale force winds. Am I in Siberia? No, I'm in a seaside resort which is only a couple of hundred miles from where my cousin lives. But every time she has looked out of her window this month she has seen clear blue skies and a big yellow sun. Our friends have been on Skye this week and instead of seeing beautiful mountain views and sunsets they've had to contend with volcanic ash, torrential rain and gales that have ripped down power cables - leaving them with no electricity in their log cabin. The only slight comfort I can muster from this foul weather is that by the time we have our joint birthday barbeque in June, we surely must stand more chance of getting a dry - if not sunny - day.

We took Oscar to the amusement arcade yesterday. This was after ruling out his first choice, which was "Somerfield". On the way in the car I asked him what he'd been doing at his little pre-school class. He touched a little bruise on his cheek and said: "Oscar fell over". I asked him what he'd been doing when he fell. "Running." I persevered - what had he been playing with when he was running: "a chain saw". "A CHAIN SAW?" "No," he said giving his answer syllable by syllable for his silly grandma, "a DIN - O - SAUR". After a couple of seconds thought he added: "what is a chain saw?" I changed the subject.

Oscar's mummy was helping him to brush his teeth when I picked him up. He wasn't too keen so I agreed with his mummy that it wasn't nice to have yellow teeth so it was important to brush them. "Grandma's got yellow teeth." That's done it. A tooth whitening kit is top of my list for the shops today.

Our son who lives in London visited last weekend to see his new nephew for the first time. But first Oscar wanted a bit of his knee!

Hugo is now three weeks old and already he's weighing everyone up - especially his big brother who is desperate to give him some of his juice and a sweetie.

THE ALIMONY TOUR

2011-05-25T01:31:00.000-07:00

We went to The Lowry last night to help John Cleese pay his ex-wife $20m alimony.
For two hours he retraced his glory days - after giving us a droll potted history of his dreary upbringing in Weston-super-Mare. Numerous lucky breaks, he modestly maintained, were his rare advantage, whether it was landing a role in Half a Sixpence alongside Tommy Steele on Broadway - fresh out of university and flushed with the surprise success of the Footlights revue Cambridge Circus - or David Frost’s summons for him to take a leading role in the career-making The Frost Report.
The funniest bits were the well-remembered (by me anyway) clips from Fawlty Towers and Monty Python and it's prompted me to revisit my boxed sets.
But the whole idea of such a great entertainer having to come out of well-deserved retirement to flaunt his stuff for a few thousand pounds is rather sad. I hope he's learnt his lesson!

TV BODY IMAGE DOCUMENTARY

2011-05-17T08:39:00.000-07:00

Another tvdocumentary appeal:

Mums - is your daughter a pre-teen beauty?

Cherry Healey show is looking to talk to mums with daughters for a new TV documentary about body image.

We want to talk to mums with daughters between the ages of 5 and 11 for a programme about body image. We’d like to hear from mothers about when young girls start thinking about their bodies and mums who want to encourage their daughters to make the most of their looks.

Is it important to you for your daughter to look good?

Do you want your daughter to have the opportunities to stand out in a way that you never had?

What does looking good mean to you and your daughter?

Whether your daughter wants to be an actress, a model or just loves dressing up - get in touch!

Please email body@renegadepictures.co.uk or call 0207 449 3242 for more information about the programme

IT COULD BE US

2011-05-15T02:04:00.000-07:00

Roughly once every other month I get an email that says "Good news about your ticket" from Lotto. For the ten seconds that it takes to log onto the Lotto site, I believe that we are at last millionaires. But no, it's another tenner. That ten-second feeling is so good though, that next time I get the email, I think I'll delay visiting the Lotto site for 24 hours - or maybe longer - perhaps the feeling that millions might lie in a bank waiting for me to claim them, is almost as good as getting the cheque. I'll have to consult the psychologist son on that one.

Oscar is now at the age where his truthfulness knows no bounds and if he opens a present and sees that it's something he's already got, he'll say so. When Hugo was born just over a week ago, our daughter wrapped a lovely knitted dog called "Boofle" for Oscar to look after when his mummy looks after Hugo. Our daughter's not aquainted with Oscar's truthfulness so I briefed her, and told her not to be offended when he said "Oscar not want one of those, Oscar already has lots of teddies at Oscar's house." So she was fully prepared when, half way through pulling the wrapping paper off, the sentence was uttered word for word. But we gave Boofle a voice and he sat and watched Oscar having his dinner. When I next called at Oscar's house, during a thunder storm, he was covering Boofle's ears so he wasn't afraid of the lightning and "to keep Boofle safe". When he visited us this week and opened yet another present from a friend and began to recite his mantra, I explained why it's always better just to say "thank you". Later in the day some cholcolate buttons were received at the door, wrapped in coloured paper. I cringed as he opened the package in front of the donor. "Chocolate buttons" shouted Oscar as though he'd never experienced them before, and he only needed a slight reminder before yelling: "Thank you!" Phew!

The truthfulness also extends to physical peculiarities. As I sat next to him in the car, he pointed to a small (tiny!) spot on my top lip and demanded to know what it was - in fact he stared at it for most of the journey. When he did avert his eyes, he said that Grandad had "very funny hair". When Grandad asked him if he'd rather get out and walk, he said Yes!

HUGO

2011-05-08T11:09:00.000-07:00

Weighing in at 8lb 10oz, Hugo, our beautiful new grandson, entered this exciting world on Friday. He is a baby brother for Oscar who has already offered him his blanket and his juice.

HUGO

As every hour passes he looks more and more like his big brother did at the same age.

HUGO

OSCAR

And by a happy coincidence a letter of mine was published in the Times on Friday. So when, aged 21, he receives the edition of the Times from the day he was born, there will be his grandma's letter!

BBC DOCUMENTARY

2011-05-03T10:04:00.000-07:00

I've been asked to put this on my blog - maybe you can help?

I'm working on a BBC Three one off documentary on body image. In the programme our presenter, Cherry Healey, will meet seven women at different stages of life and talk to them about body image. The idea is to hear from a range of voices who ultimately represent what sort of a relationship British women have with their own bodies. We want the documentary to be positive, inspiring and thought provoking.

We are currently looking for women to get in touch and share their views and opinions and are particularly keen to hear from mothers with daughters who are perhaps starting to display body image awareness at a young age. Perhaps the mum herself is or was a big dieter or has body hang-ups that she has come to realise may be passed on to her daughter if she's not careful. She may or may not have already taken steps to make sure that negative messages aren’t reinforced at home.

We are also looking to speak to new mums who are feeling the pressure to lose their pregnancy weight and may feel that the way they look is closely connected to their new role as a mother.

If anyone is interested in taking part the best address for them to use is:

body@renegadepictures.co.uk

PRINCE / PRINCESS

2011-04-28T22:46:00.000-07:00

Oscar's pre-school group held a Royal Wedding party and each child was asked to dress as a prince or a princess - perhaps because the word was longer and therefore probably more important, Oscar said he wanted to be a princess. His dad made a crown and placed it on his head telling him that he was now a prince. "No, princess" said Oscar. Eventually the matter was resolved by them both deciding that he could be a king.

Over Sunday dinner I was talking to my mother about housekeeping, what I used to spend and what I spend now. Oscar's dad said: "What's housekeeping?" I could hardly believe my ears. Did he not realise that for the 20-odd years he lived at home I worked to a budget and that every one of his three-course meals came out of it? Apparently not, because when I explained the concept he said that he thought it was a bit quaint and old-fashioned.
When his brother was home over Easter I laughingly told him about this episode, expecting him to laugh with me. "What is housekeeping?" he asked. I explained once again. "It sounds quite sensible" he said. This left me wondering what young couples do these days if there are no financial boundaries in place. It also left me wondering whether they had ever noticed that for most of their lives they ate steak at the beginning of the month and shepherd's pie at the end. Probably not!

A LITTLE KICKER

2011-04-21T23:43:00.000-07:00

Oscar has joined the Tuesday afternoon Little Kickers club. On his first visit he won a race and scored a goal cheered on by a very proud Dad. I'm not sure but it looks to me as though he was sent off!

The half time drink proved to be a big attraction.

I hope he doesn't prove to be as rough as his uncle (our younger son) who arrived at our house last night with bruised knees and cut feet after taking a dive in a mixed sex football match during which he sent a female member of the team flying.

LITTLE MASTER SUNSHINE

2011-04-16T00:08:00.000-07:00

During Oscar's visit this week I was trying to introduce the concept of addition. Using fingers I said "one and one makes?" "SUNSHINE" he yelled and he was so dogmatic that for a split second I wondered if he might be right.

Our daughter has experienced a downside to the wonderful world of employment. After applying for and getting an extra role at the school where she works, she encountered nothing but unhelpfulness and cussedness from the member of staff she was taking over from. Things got so bad that our daughter found herself having to take the blame for measures that had been introduced by her predecessor - while that person was sitting silently next to her, presumably glowing with satisfaction. So a willing worker has thrown in the towel - with our blessing. If it's taught her one thing it's that there's nowt so queer as folk.
It took me back to my first job in the summer after I left school. I was a dental receptionist and was taking over from a feisty sort of girl. On my first day of booking appointments, a Lady Bracknell lookalike arrived for her 10am slot - only there was no 10am slot booked. I was almost for the chop as all hell broke loose, until I spotted that the feisty one had rubbed out this dragoness's name, knowing full-well what the consequences would be for me. I've experienced mean-minded characters like that on and off throughout my career and have found that it's usually those with a miserable home life who can't bear to see people who are happy with their lot, getting on in their lives.

PARDON?

2011-04-13T01:51:00.000-07:00

Oscar is great company and we have long intelligent conversations. But sometimes I seem to be transported back to the '60s "where rocking horse people eat marshmallow pies" and when nothing was surprising. For instance this week when Oscar was sitting in his car seat supping orange juice he announced: "Oscar had enough now Grandma, Oscar save some for yesterday." I had a sudden mystical moment. Followed sharply by another when he added: "Grandad is very clever man. Grandad is magic man." Fortunately grandad wasn't in the car - it wouldn't do to swell his head any more than it already is. But I wish I could step into Oscar's world just for a couple of minutes.

Today I'm moving my putting all my winter clothes away - so I predict icy cold temperatures and rain for the next four weeks at least.

MOTHERS' DAY

2011-04-03T09:50:00.000-07:00

At the risk of embarrassing them, I reckon I must have the best children ever. The house now resembles a florist's, I have new slippers, smellies and books that are right up my street.

Our daughter was home from Hull and over breakfast I was asking her if she'd watched any of the Red Nose Day programmes. I told her that I'd taped it all and then watched it the next day, fast forwarding through all the appeals. "So you really entered into the spirit of it," she said. I've been laughing about it all day - which probably just makes my crassness worse.

The "boat" built by my mother for Oscar, out of an upside-down stool, is becoming ever more sophisticated. It is now on wheels, has a Union Jack attached and is pulled by two coloured belts. Oscar sets off for "Edinburgh" "Manchester" and "Liverpool" during his weekly visits to her flat and seems to prefer this cobbled-together contraption to the colourful Raleigh bike that sits unused in our garage!

PIG ON A PLATE

2011-03-14T01:19:00.000-07:00

I think I'm turning into my mother. We can always rely on her to put her foot in it at least once during Sunday dinner. Yesterday we were having baked ham and I could see that Oscar was eating everything on his plate - except the ham. So to encourage him (looking back it seems so stupid) I told him that the pink meat on his plate was a piggy like Peppa Pig. Everyone round the table gasped in horror and Oscar's face crumpled. I quickly said that it wasn't Peppa Pig, just like Peppa Pig. "No, is Peppa Pig" said Oscar. pushing the entire plate away from him. So that's ham off the menu.

HELLO BIG PANSY

2011-03-12T04:04:00.000-08:00

Oscar was admiring his mummy and daddy's daffodils when I picked him up yesterday. I showed him the baby pansies in our hanging basket. He said he didn't like them so I picked one and showed him its little face - he backed away and I'm not sure if he thought grandma had gone batty or if he expected the flower to talk. Later, when we went to the village he spotted a window box outside the local Italian restaurant. He stood in front of the flowers, by the open door, shouting "Hello big pansy" - I don't think we'll be booking a meal there for some considerable time.

IT FITS!

2011-03-11T08:24:00.000-08:00

Hurray - the Peppa Pig jumper fits and I have a feeling that Oscar's daddy had a little word with him before he came to play because as soon as he bounced through the door he said he wanted to wear the Peppa Pig jumper! While he was with us we visited great grandma, who at 80, performed a Highland jig and then pushed Oscar round and round her flat in a pretend boat.

Oscar pulls great grandma's teddies around in the pretend boat.

PEPPA PIG

2011-03-10T00:38:00.000-08:00

I am putting a picture of the jumper I've just finished on the blog without Oscar in it, because I have a feeling he'll never be in it! I made the mistake of showing it to him while it was still on the needles - mainly because I wanted him to know that I wasn't just knitting for the new baby. I said to my husband "it's going to be too big" not really thinking that Mr Sharp Ears in the corner would be taking it all in. The next time I got it out Oscar shouted "too big grandma" so the odds of me actually getting it over his head tomorrow are small. The trouble is, when the time comes that it actually does fit him (probably about age 6) Peppa Pig will just be an embarrassment!

THANKS BRIAN

2011-03-06T23:26:00.000-08:00

Next Sunday night I'll know better - I'll tape Brian Cox and his wonders of the universe and watch it first thing Monday morning because I've been tossing and turning all night after what seemed to be an hour-long black comedy. With his eerie grin still in place, he told us how the universe will end; of exploding stars, of things being sucked inside themselves; of dying suns and crumbling worlds. Ok, he was talking trillions and trillions of billions years hence but nevertheless my remains will be on this dying planet and I have an interest in their future. There's one thing for certain, I'll no longer be worrying about how to make my housekeeping stretch a full month - oh no, I have much bigger things on my mind now.

WHERE ARE THEY?

2011-03-06T01:52:00.000-08:00

Our son in London was in Zurich on Friday for work. Our daughter in Hull is now in London meeting up with our son. She was at the NBA game at the O2 Arena last night and will soon be jetting back to Hull for a Punt and Dennis show tonight (I've just read on Facebook!). I actually thought she was going to see John Bishop tonight - no that's Wednesday, she responds when I query. Meanwhile our other son has been hotel hopping in Edinburgh. Phew - I'm glad I've written it all down.

The London son and his fiance's wedding plans are taking shape - I hope! Because the wedding will be in his neck of the woods there's not much I can get involved in - so frustrating! I've started looking for an outfit, but I've still got a few pounds to lose before I can start trying on - and then I'll just have to hope and pray that I can keep that shape for another 14 months!

ADAM

2011-03-06T01:33:00.000-08:00

We're really looking forward to meeting Adam when he arrives (hopefully around May 5th). We feel as though we already know him, after our introduction through the wonders of 3d scanning.

He looks a lot like King Oscar the 2nd to us - we shall see!

My trusty old computer finally died yesterday. I'd used it every day for ten years and I felt sympathy pains as it aged and became slower and slower. Our three children had been telling me to replace it with a newer model for years, but I was too loyal. I'd got to know all its little ways and for the past six months I'd been very patient when it refused to start breathing for at least 30 minutes after being switched on. And when it did it sounded like an asthmatic steam train. So it was with a heavy heart that I gave in yesterday and visited Argos. I'm now the owner of a very smart model that does everything I ask of it at lightning speed. But something is missing - and I think it's the noise.

Oscar is very old-fashioned in his ways and instructed his grandad to be "very careful" as he opened the patio doors last week. Then as he was leaving for home he almost went flying as he ran down the hall. He turned round with a wise old expression and said: "nearly".

We had a day in the Trough of Bowland this week - what a beautiful area it is. We made a real find - a pub we'd never come across before (and that's saying something). Tucked down a narrow little lane in Wiswell is the Freemasons Arms.

We had a drink beside the fire and studied the menu. We'll be back.

THE RIVALS

2011-02-15T12:44:00.000-08:00

We saw The Rivals in London on Saturday night. Our seats were on the front row of the upper circle and without leaning over the rail it was only possible to see the top third of the action, and as soon as anyone on our row did lean forward, those on row b complained loudly. We enjoyed the performance although I've seen better Mrs Malaprops. The manner in which Penelope Keith delivered her lines reminded me of the policeman in 'Ello 'Ello. The actor who stole the show for me was Tony Gardner (the cafe owner from The Lead Balloon) as the captious Faulkland.

While we in London I tried to get to grips with my new phone - purchased (or rather upgraded to) in order to get an app the younger son had shown us when he was home. With it you can track any plane in the sky at that particular moment, and since we live under a flight path, I found it fascinating to discover where each plane was going as it passed overhead. When the phone arrived I spent 20 minutes searching for the keyboard, only to find that it was a touch-screen device. I don't want to be an old fuddy duddy but I hate it with a passion. Over the past few days, I've spent all my time prodding the screen, trying to correct words and letters that make no sense and when I needed to make an urgent call, I found that I just didn't know how so it can now be located on eBay; I'm back to my trusty old Nokia and I'll just have to guess where the planes are heading.

GOD & STEPHEN HAWKING

2011-01-26T00:55:00.000-08:00

John C. Lennox

Richard Dawkins and now Stephen Hawking annoy me no end with their aetheist proclamations and rallying cries. Each to his own, and if people are aetheists good luck to them, but I get tired of reading from people who should know better, that science has replaced God. From a newspaper review I'd read, a professor of mathematics at Oxford felt the same so I ordered his book "God and Stephen Hawking" and now, having devoured it, I feel much better. John C. Lennox MA PhD DPhil Dsc is no lightweight and has debated Richard Dawkins and Christopher Hitchens and lectured all over the world. He says in an erudite and often amusing way, that offering people the choice between God and science is illogical - it isn't a question of either/or. We need both levels of explanation to give a complete description. The two complement each other. God is the cause in the first place of there being a world for the laws of physics to describe.
I feel happier today knowing that someone is answering the dogmatic aetheists back. And it makes me laugh when I think of the slogan on London's bendy buses that "there is PROBABLY no God so go and enjoy your life" - nothing like sitting on the fence!

CHESHIRE CHEESE

2011-01-14T07:56:00.000-08:00

We've been enjoying Michael Portillo's train journeys on BBC2 and when he stopped off at a traditional cheese-making farm in Cheshire I sat up and took note. I love cheese - the more traditional and tasty the better - and this farm looked fantastic. It belongs to the Bourne family and is situated in Malpas. After the programme I looked the place up on the internet and discovered that it was possible to order online ( http://www.hsbourne.co.uk/ ). I filled in an old-fashioned looking form and ordered Mrs Bourne's cheese selection. There was no method of paying so I didn't hold out much hope and the website didn't seem to have been updated since 2002. But this morning the beautiful cheeses, bearing hand-written labels, arrived along with the sort of invoice we used to be given before the days of plastic.
I rang the farm to thank them and to give my card details. John Bourne himself answered and told me to pop a cheque in the post when I got chance. "I hope you enjoy them because they're pretty bloody good," he said. I'm absolutely certain we will.

GO AWAY!

2011-01-10T22:41:00.000-08:00

If you've put some pornographic request into Google please look elsewhere. My stat counter, although healthy numerically is very unhealthily showing me that hundreds of visits are being made by perverts (mainly in Italy). I don't understand why Google is sending them my way but please, unless reading the ramblings of a grandma who bakes and knits, is what you're after, give it a rest and go and find something more interesting to do with your time.

BBC PARENTING DOCUMENTARY

2011-01-10T02:23:00.000-08:00

Today I was asked to publish the following:

BBC Three and Renegade Pictures are making a new documentary about motherhood and parenting and we would love to hear from any mums who are happy to share their stories.

The documentary will be presenter lead and will explore what it’s like to raise children today – it will be a thoughtful, insightful film about the decisions women make and different approaches to being a mum today.

Perhaps you believe there is not enough discipline today and have decided to raise your children with a strict framework?

Or do you think children should be treated like adults and allowed to make their own decisions and choices?

Have you given up your career for your children or do you have help from nannies or other childcare so that you can balance the 2?

Do you worry about the dangers out there and try to protect your children from them or do you think children are too wrapped in cotton wool?

Whatever your age and background – whether you’re a mum, step-mum or foster mum, religious or not, strict or liberal - we would love to hear from you.

If you’re interested in finding out more please email: parent@renegadepictures.co.uk. If you do not have access to email you can call: 020 7449 3242. But please note email is preferential at this stage.

Many thanks and looking forward to hearing from you!

Renegade Pictures

NORMALITY

2010-12-29T17:23:00.000-08:00

Thank goodness - we can now see the lawn again and the snow pig is just six inches high. Father Christmas couldn't even deliver Oscar's new bike because he worked out that giving a two-year-old a present and then telling him he can't go outside with it would not be a recipe for a happy Christmas Day. But he did bring the digger that Oscar had requested for over a month.

On Christmas Eve Oscar kept watch for Santa

And it was well worth it

And doesn't everyone get a new scarf and hat at Christmas?

Over Christmas dinner Oscar's uncle did the moving napkin trick to impress his nephew

On Boxing Day we took the London son to the airport so that he could catch the Easyjet flight to Geneva - because it was over three hours late he missed his transfer at Geneva and ended up sleeping on the airport floor for ten hours. While he was home for Christmas we were able to quiz him about his engagement - not that he ever gives much away.

This picture may suddenly disappear because my son has the copyright and I haven't been given permission to use it!

NOT NICE

2010-12-19T18:47:00.000-08:00

I'm tempted to throw every Christmas card with a snow scene on it in the bin. Snow is not nice and I'm sick to the back teeth of looking out on stranded cars being pushed and birds buried up to their necks in white stuff.

The London son and his fiancee (YES ! they're engaged - hurray) were up for the weekend and in between digging his car out and skidding down the road, he found time to make a snow creature that Oscar thinks is Peppa Pig

We had a lovely party for my birthday at Oscar's mummy and daddy's house and Oscar helped me blow the candles out

There are so many comings and goings planned for this week and next by car and train and plane that I'm dizzy and if they a actually happen then I'm a monkey's uncle.

QUACKERS

2010-12-03T00:55:00.000-08:00

The London son is off to Bruges this weekend - Eurostar permitting. last night he dressed as Count Duckula for a Christmas party.

Our daughter is snowed up in Hull but managed to dig herself out to enjoy a slap-up meal last night. Meanwhile, Oscar has been plodding slowly around the room doubled up like an old man. When we asked him what he was doing he said "Dada" - apparently his dad has had a bad back and without him realising it, Oscar was watching his every painful move. And I now have to be as good as gold and have emptied my coat pockets of all sweets because as Oscar's speech has improved I've found myself in hot water as he reports back to mummy and daddy: "Grandma, Oscar, jelly bean"

OUT WITH THE OLD

2010-11-14T16:56:00.000-08:00

How does one go about choosing a new birthday? My old birthday is a week before Christmas, and although it's very atmospheric having Happy Birthday sung around the Christmas tree, it's a bit of a pain when it comes to booking celebratory meals out - always fighting to get served against rowdy office Christmas party outings and having to pay top-whack for a mediocre slice of luke-warm turkey. Then there's the birthday cards. The house by then is already heaving with Christmas cards so there's no space to show off my lovely cards. And I feel sorry for friends and family having to fork out for birthday presents at a time when their bank balances have already been hit bystocking up for Christmas. So I've decided to change my birthday, and that's a problem. Too much choice already. Do I go for midsummer and swap turkey for burgers on the barbecue, or what about Spring? But then am I celebrating the birthday I've just had or the one that's still to come? And I don't want to steal anyone else's thunder by choosing a date just before their's, so already the choice is dwindling. I think this is going to call for numbers in a hat and then pull one out - unless I decide that it's all too much hassle and just buy an extra turkey - again.

PIDER

2010-10-31T17:45:00.000-07:00

We had a Hallowe'en visitor yesterday in the shape of a multi-coloured "pider"

it reminded us of last Hallowe'en when an orange fluffy pumpkin holding a black balloon on a chopstick knocked on the door.

It was half term last week which gave us the opportunity to get things done in the house. A strip of ceiling paper in my office needed replacing - sounds easy. It took us half a day of neck-breaking contortions, my husband up a ladder and me on a chair, first scraping off all the old paper and then putting up the new. My husband reckoned he'd watched a decorator at work and had seen him paste the paper and then concertina it before putting it up. It was like something off a Laurel and Hardy film - especially when we discovered, after getting all the creases and bubbles out, that the paper was 10 inches short of the wall. That's the very last time we attempt any sort of diy.

The main car has clocked up a very high mileage - and they say the devil finds work for idle hands - so again, while we were free over half term, we searched the internet for a low mileage, one-owner, comfortable car. Found one in Derbyshire, spoke to the salesman by phone - it had had one little elderly owner from new who only took it out of the garage when the sun was shining and in six years he had done just 18,000 miles. Fantastic. We agreed a part-ex price and set off on Friday to claim this fine specimen. We were shown the car documents while the car was being serviced - no service book (funny!) and a load of bills in somebody else's name. Turned out the car had had three owners and the mileage didn't stack up. The interior was more marked and scraped than ours. So no deal. We made the best of the day, stocking up on original Bakewell puddings before we left Derbyshire and as soon as we got home we got to work on Google Street View to look at the little old third owner's address. A very pokey terraced house - WITH NO GARAGE! I'm just glad we weren't born yesterday.

ARMSTRONG & MILLER

2010-10-18T16:08:00.000-07:00

We went to see the Armstrong & Miller show when it was on in Manchester. We had great seats - centre front row of the circle. Far enough away not to be hauled onto the stage and a very good view. But I was amazed to find that the small theatre was only half full. Those who weren't there missed a wonderfully funny evening. All the sketches from the television shows were included plus more and best of all, there was no support act.

One of the landmark homes in our area has been demolished. It was a beautiful big 1920s' detached place set in acres of woodland, which the elderly owner had left untouched to encourage local wildlife, including red squirrels, natterjack toads and barn owls. When he died a property developer bought the gorgeous pink house for a knock-down price and knocked it down. The trees have been felled, presumably the wildlife slaughtered or at best homeless and the site flattened. On the plus side we have a ready-made afternoon's entertainment for Oscar within walking distance. The diggers, dumper trucks and men in hard hats who wave give him more pleasure than a trip to Disneyland.

Oscar has started a pre-school group where he has to be left for three hours. This he is not overly keen on. In fact as soon as we get into the car on a school morning he instructs me to drive in the opposite direction. But I can remember the tears and tantrums when I left my own three children at their respective playgroups - and that was just me. So I wait in the car park for half an hour and then ring the very nice pre-school ladies to see if the tears have subsided. They always have.

time for school

QUESTION OF SPORT

2010-09-28T23:56:00.000-07:00

We managed to get tickets to watch a recording of Question of Sport in Manchester. I think the bright sparks who decided to move the BBC up north will now be regretting it. When the recordings took place in London you just couldn't get tickets - there was even a waiting list. Yesterday the studio audience was very thin on the ground and there were lots of empty seats. But as luck would have it it was a great show - a celebrity edition. Paddy McGuinness and my favourite X Factor contestant, Olly Murs were guests.

It was a great laugh - but I don't think we needed the warm up man to tell us how to clap and I cringed when he told us to whoop like American audiences. Surely I'm not the only television viewer who'd rather not have our long-standing traditional programmes turned into Oprah Winfrey soundalikes.

BIRTHDAY BOYS

2010-09-28T23:34:00.000-07:00

It was a weekend of celebrations. Oscar and his uncle (our younger son) share the same birthday. Oscar was having his party on the Sunday so our son had his on the Saturday and we're still suffering the after effects of birthday cake overload.

Our daughter had gone to great lengths to bid on (and win) some football boots worn and signed by a Villa player. She told the seller to send them to our address but on Saturday morning they arrived at her home in Hull - annoying. But thanks to the wizardry of mobile phone cameras she was still able to show her brother what she'd bought him.

IT'S ELECTRIFYING

2010-09-11T18:30:00.000-07:00

E-on have just sent us a little gadget that tells us how much electricity we're using every second of every day and it's horrifying. I tiptoe into the kitchen first thing in the morning, when only the fridge freezer is on and it tells me that at that rate we'll pay just £10 a month for our usage. Kettle on, dishwasher on and immersion on and it's a bank-breaking £888 a month. I'm like a woman possessed - we now sit in the semi-dark in the evenings, the tumble drier is a no-go area and showers are limited to 30 seconds. My husband says he doesn't want a minute-by-minute account of how much fuel we're using, but I'm afraid that's what he'll get until the novelty wears off. And what has surprised me more than anything is the huge amount of electricity the television uses so I think his football viewing is going to have to be rationed.

CLEANSE YOUR COLON

2010-09-10T17:26:00.000-07:00

As soon as I posted the previous piece on this site something popped up above it, advertising "Inner cleanse capsules, best selling colon supplement" perhaps someone, somewhere thinks I suffer from verbal diarrhoea.

RICHMOND

2010-09-10T17:15:00.000-07:00

Thanks to a Virgin train offer, we travelled first class last Saturday to Euston. Up at the crack of dawn to board the 7.19am from Lime Street. The London son met us at the station door in his car - what luxury and what a treat, to be driven, free of charge, through the capital. He showed us Michael Winner's house and other landmarks on the way to his new pad in Richmond. Then we walked by the river, through the parks and had a barbeque lunch in a meadow at the back of a pub. Later we sat in the sun enjoying afternoon tea, looking out from a great height over Eel Pie Island. Why does everything about a day in London seem so special?

Then, in the park, we came across a black wrought iron archway with a hole in the middle and a sign that said "St Paul's six miles". When we looked through a handily-placed telescope, there was St Paul's Cathedral, as clear as anything, right in the centre of the hole. Magical.

BERLIN & HARROGATE

2010-08-21T16:46:00.000-07:00

Perhaps it's something in the water, but first our daughter and then the elder son and his family spent their summer holidays in Berlin. Oscar thoroughly enjoyed the experience

and insisted on trying out ALL available treats

STRATFORD

2010-08-13T04:22:00.000-07:00

Just back from Stratford where we saw the RSC's production of "The Winter's Tale" . Greg Hicks - who I last saw when he was covered in blood as Coriolanus - took the part of Leontes and was just brilliant.

The play lasted for just over three hours and I found that my knees had become sort of hinged in a very uncomfortable position - I even found myself worrying about DVT (I hope that's not rude).

We saw some of the meteorite shower on the way back to the hotel after the performance but although I really wanted to stay out and see more, I'd looked up for so long that I'd developed a crick in my neck - is this what getting old is all about - hinged knees, dvt and a cricked neck?

This morning at breakfast I was just about to place a slice of bread on the hotel's toasting contraption, using the tongs provided when a girl of about 11 raced up, manhandled the white cloths covering the loaves and started grabbing pieces of bread - desperate to get her slices onto the toaster before I could get mine on. I told her mother that there were tongs available if she'd care to wait for a split second. "Oh we don't bother about that, it's only us who'll be eating it," she barked. Judging by the number of slices that the girl had her hands all over - I doubt that - but who knows.

We'd just sat down to enjoy our first-past-the-post toast when a father, dressed in shorts and flip flops (Stratford in the rain) stood up, bent over his table so that his face was two inches from his son's (son about seven) and started berating him for some crime to humanity in an exceptionally loud and booming voice. "We had all this in London, why won't you listen, it shows that you have no fidelity, no thoughtfulness, no sincerity...." etc...etc....etc for ten full minutes. I looked at the family - the little wife was shrinking in her seat, the white-faced son wanted the floor to swallow him up and the man's mother didn't know where to look. It was like something from The Fast Show, except it was extremely unfunny. Just when we felt it was safe to get stuck into the now cold toast, he started again: "YOU DO UNDERSTAND WHY I'VE TAKEN THIS ACTION AND SPOKEN LIKE THIS," he bellowed. For pity's sake leave the poor child alone and give us all a break I wanted to shout. I had chronic indigestion all morning. Hinged knees, dvt, cricked neck and indigestion - are these holidays worth it?

CARPETS, WALLPAPER, FIREPLACE

2010-08-03T16:05:00.000-07:00

We've lived with a fireplace we didn't like ever since we moved in 30 years ago and last month we finally did something about it. So for weeks now the house has been upside down, with workmen here, there and everywhere because a new fireplace meant new wallpaper and a new carpet. Yesterday the carpet (lounge, diningroom, hall, stairs and landing) was removed so last night the only available space to sit in was a two-square yard space in the conservatory, wedged between furniture from all the other rooms. In a funny old way it was quite nice not having to check the television listings to see how the BBC was going to entertain us. We read the papers, drank coffee and watched the sun sink in the West. Now we await our new bouncy underlay and carpet and after it's fitted shoes will be left in the porch and coffee consumed in the kitchen only.

It was really lovely at the weekend. We had an entire family gathering and the artist son set up his tripod and camera and we all smiled for 20 shots. Here's one of them....

Oscar has been to his first gig - "In the Night Garden" in Sefton Park, followed by a party where he swept one young lady off her feet after showing her his moves on the dance floor.

But when it was time to go home, Bernard was his companion of choice.

ARE YOU STILL THERE?

2010-08-03T15:41:00.000-07:00

Anybody out there? It's been so long since I added a post to this blog that I'd forgotten my user details. It's not really that nothing's been happening, more that it's all been pretty run-of-the-mill stuff.

There have been a couple of personal highlights - a letter in the Times followed by my piece being used in that paper's "You the Editor" column, although their description of me as "retired journalist" made me sound older than I feel (I didn't say look).

A relative has just had a big birthday and I was stumped when it came to thinking of a gift. However, I saw that Christies was going to be holding the Althorp Attic Sale at the beginning of July - perfect timing and the birthday girl LOVES anything to do with Diana's family. As soon as I saw the Telegraph supplement about the sale in May I registered to bid online (a lengthy procedure during which I was asked if I would be bidding more than £30k - I hardly dared admit what my upper limit was.). I bought the catalogue, listed 50 possibilities and on July 7th I was in front of my laptop at 9.30am ready for the sale to start at 10. A webcam picture showed me the auctioneer's podium and lots of to-ing and fro-ing around it. Ten o'clock came and went and I shouted to my husband, who was in the loft: "You'd think they'd start on time wouldn't you" at that point my laptop went black with lots of warnings on the screen - it was dead. Nightmare and Absolute Panic! I ran round the house - my husband's laptop is only used to coping with instructions from an elderly silver surfer and gave up the ghost at the first attempt. My ancient computer was in a huff - after all, I'd deserted it months ago for a second-hand laptop. I had to go back to the warning notices and the black screen. I know not how but by as if my magic I got the auction room back and they were onto lot 16. YES, the very item I knew my relative would adore was just about to be shown. The bidding went up and then stopped - still shaking from the "on-off" episode, I pressed "bid now" . "an online bid from Southport" the auctioneer shouted (how exciting!). A rotter in the stalls outbid me and the auctioneer was on his "for the third time" when the devil got into me and I pressed the button again. The rotter knew he was beaten and I GOT IT. I don't often run round and round the house (except when my laptop freezes) but I did then - round and round and round and round. I rang everyone I could think of, I even dialled the number of the relative it was for, until I remembered. I just couldn't believe that I had won this exquisite item. When I calmed down, three days later it struck me that the item was at Christies and I was in Southport. I enquired about transport - £100 and a courier with a van would be used. I have a wealth of experience of couriers with vans. There was nothing else for it, I had to go and get it. I felt like a secret agent on the day I whizzed down to London and back on the train. I was totally amazed when I had the item in my hand - so sure was I that something had to go wrong. I left Liverpool at 10am and I was back on Lime Street station at 3.30. So the gift has now been given and the story told.

THE MAN FROM STRATFORD

2010-06-19T16:28:00.000-07:00

Back from the cruise, and full of hayfever - we went to see Simon Callow last night in his touring one-man-show "The Man from Stratford". He was absolutely fantastic. He took the stage for two hours wearing a pair of old grey trousers and a crumpled white shirt and transported us back to Shakespeare's time, with priceless cameos from many of the plays, illustrating a life that starts and ends in Stratford but has so much in between. I just hope that students studying plays for A level (do they still do that?) get the chance to see this touring play.

While we were away Oscar was busy bouncing on his new trampoline, decorating his wendy house and sliding down his slide.

But one of the things he likes doing best is telling the little spiders (ants) that he's going to have some "juice". He can just about say "pider" but at times it sounds like "murder" and the other day when his dad was tidying up after a chicken dinner he said to Oscar "should we put mummy's bones in the bin?" "murder" shouted Oscar - who we all hope had just spotted one of his eight-legged friends.

COME ON ENGLAND

2010-05-15T18:00:00.000-07:00

Oscar's soccer-oblivious dad was hoping that he could keep his son in a football-free zone - not a chance! Aunty Lala (not the name we chose for her, but the one Oscar prefers) came home with a mini England kit this week.

and the pair of them were busy trying to secure a multi-million pound deal with Fabio Capello at the weekend. So, between that and his football-mad uncle, I'd say that Oscar's dad had better start swotting up on the off-side rule.

We went to the beach in the pouring rain on Friday to see a vintage plane fly-past. Oscar took a cursory glance at the sky but gave the impression that the planes were disturbing his artistic attempts at drawing mama and dada in the mud.

JUSTICE

2010-05-11T05:13:00.000-07:00

I can put my marching shoes away. Cameron is at number 10 and justice has been done. To celebrate we sent up a Chinese lantern - the only trouble is it might have given neighbours the impression that we were BNP supporters.

Thank goodness but what am I going to watch on television now?

OH NO YOU DON'T

2010-05-10T03:10:00.000-07:00

You nasty, unprincipled, scheming toad.

If the two parties which the electorate voted second and third get their ugly heads together and take power, I'm marching to Downing Street.

PETER KAY

2010-04-29T04:22:00.000-07:00

Forget foul-mouthed Ricky Gervais and bigoted (oh yes) Jimmy Carr. Peter Kay is THE man. We saw him yesterday on the second night of his tour and he was completely fantastic. New material, hardly any "blue for the dads" and so funny that a group of teenage boys in front of us were literally crying with laughter. He got a long standing ovation and boy, did he deserve it. We've booked to see his show again in November 2011 and I'm counting the days.

I think Oscar's dad is turning into Fagin and sending his 18-month-old son out looking for cash. We walked down to the village the other day and Oscar spotted a ten pence piece on the pavement. It went straight into a deep trouser pocket with the words "dada". Another two shiney coins were discovered during the same walk and went the way of the first. The next day I asked Oscar to put my change into my purse for me. The minute I handed it over he ran off like the wind shouting "dada" . I'll have to look into this....

"aaaah, there's a coin, in the grounds of the bank"

Back with his spoils - we can look but we can't touch

SCOTTISH ICE CREAM

2010-04-10T17:07:00.000-07:00

Oscar has been sightseeing in Edinburgh with his mum and dad. The bit of the holiday he enjoyed best however was the bowl of ice cream after the evening meal - during which he perfected the two-spoon trick.

all gone

THE DAILY MAIL

2010-03-29T16:49:00.000-07:00

I've always told my husband that he shouldn't read the Daily Mail

THE FOUR TOPS, THE DRIFTERS

2010-03-23T05:49:00.000-07:00

A Christmas present to my husband was a ticket to see The Four Tops, The Temptations, The Drifters and The Three Degrees at the MEN. The show was on Sunday night and was a bit disappointing. The arena was less than half full; the Three Degrees all had bad colds and let the audience take over for my favourite song "When Will I See You Again?" (I can sing it any old time - I wanted to hear them sing it); The Four Tops and The Temptations weren't as I remembered them and I had a 6ft 5in shaven-headed drunken idiot next to me who not only had to dance like a spinning top to every single song, be it fast or slow, but insisted on flailing his long baboon-type arms, narrowly missing my face on numerous occasions. But apart from that........ .... Actually The Drifters were very good but didn't sing "Under the Boardwalk" which my husband, as he later revealed, had been looking forward to.

Today we have been married for 36 years - a lifetime. To celebrate we had a takeaway and I told my husband that I would order the same dish that I chose in the hotel on our wedding night. "Do you remember what that was?" I asked. "You tell me and I'll tell you if you're right," he replied. Fancy thinking I'd fall for that one after 36 years.

ANOTHER PROUD DAY

2010-03-19T05:10:00.000-07:00

Today our daughter was awarded her MSc in Chester Cathedral by the Duke of Westminster. A very proud day - this is the sixth graduation ceremony that we've attended as parents and we find it quite amazing that we have such clever offspring - especially when neither of us made it past A-levels.

My mother likes to keep me on my toes. "I've made myself a note to post a birthday card on Wednesday March the 31st, which is a Monday" she told me yesterday. "It can't be a Monday, Mum, if it's a Wednesday" I said - pretty sure that this would get me nowhere. "Well, that's what my diary says." Yep, I knew I was onto a loser.

Our daughter rushed through the front door on Wednesday, barely able to contain her excitement: "I've just seen Oscar sitting outside Bar Mio eating an all-day breakfast" she enthused. I had visions of our 17-month-old grandson wending his way through the village to our local wine bar and ordering a fry up. It turned out that he was with his other grandparents, and was dipping his toast into yummy bacon and eggs.

The London son enjoyed throwing his nephew up in the air when he was home at the weekend - almost as much as Oscar enjoyed it.

LEE MACK

2010-03-09T04:38:00.000-08:00

Lee Mack is now my favourite comedian. I've written off previous favourites, Jimmy Carr and Ricky Gervais due to their crudity. It's ages since I laughed uncontrollably - but Lee Mack was totally hilarious at The Lowry on Sunday night. And his take-off of the Mancunian walk and lingo was spot-on.

Today I took part in two hours of medical research at the Bio-Bank in Liverpool. I had to be there for 9.30am so set off in good time. I knew where I was going to park - I've parked there many times before. But for some inexplicable reason, this morning, in the middle of rush-hour city traffic, I got in the wrong lane at a roundabout and ended up going through the Mersey Tunnel to Birkenhead. This little detour cost me a £2.80 toll (£1.40 going and the same coming back!)

One of the readings they took while I was there was bone density. It was explained to me that this would be done by a machine which would pinch my heel. So why then, when asked if I had any wounds or open sores, did I mention a blister on my lip? When I realised that the nurse had been asking about wounds on my heel I couldn't stop laughing. The nurse's stony face made it seem even funnier - I'm just glad I won't be seeing what's written on my records.

A WHIRLWIND

2010-03-06T17:17:00.000-08:00

There have been a number of occasions over the past week or two when I've decided to sit here and update the blog. But then something happens and it gets put on the backburner.

Last weekend we drove down to Kent for my aunt's 80th birthday celebrations and en-route a picture of Oscar popped up on my mobile - minus his curls. It's a shame but it had to be done - he'd been mistaken for a girl once too often.

before and after

The 80th party was lovely and it was really wonderful to meet up with family members who we hadn't seen for years. My cousin had put together a slide show of old photos - set to music. As 70 of us watched a giant screen it seemed as if long-gone relatives were with us once again and at the end there was a long queue for the mirror to dab at the old mascara.

While in the area we visited Eastbourne (lovely pebble beach) and Rye where we had a lovely lunch in The Mermaid - an old smugglers' haunt.

Last night we were at a friend's 60th party at Royal Birkdale so I really think that's our social calendar complete for this year.

I've just let the London son know that I'm handing my letter-writing pen to him. We both wrote to the Sunday Times's Winner's Dinners last week. His letter is in today's top spot and mine's been binned. But I'm not bitter!

A late night last night, Lee Mack at The Lowry tonight and Oscar tomorrow. So Tuesday will be spent in bed.

X FACTOR

2010-02-15T17:21:00.000-08:00

My Christmas present from our daughter was a pair of X Factor tickets so last night we went along to the Liverpool Echo Arena next to the Albert Dock. This was the first time I'd been in it - the location is spectacular and I made a mental note to visit the Pizza Express place next to it - with a window seat you'd be looking across the Mersey to one side and over to the beautiful new buildings at Liverpool One on the other.

The show was great fun, we had front row seats and we enjoyed every minute. The atmosphere and the acoustics weren't quite up to the standard set by the MEN and the person in charge of props seemed to favour swinging the acts over our heads as though they were Peter Pan. But that aside, everyone on stage was brilliant - belting out all the songs that had helped them through the X Factor rounds.

Lloyd had grown up and improved, Olly should have won and Jamie's rendition of Sex on Fire reminded me of why I thought he would win way back at the audition stage.

And I can't believe that I queued for ten minutes to buy a signed picture of Stacey for a friend. It was an occasion when I wished I was sporting a burka.

Meanwhile Oscar has again mislaid his blanket and we've all been trailing the streets and car parks of Southport in an effort to find it. But this time it is well and truly lost. He now has blanket number two, which I hurriedly knitted last time number one temporarily went missing. It's no real substitute but it's the best we can do and needless to say I'm now working on blanket number three!

He's been trying on his half-term swimming gear

IS IT A JOKE?

2010-02-13T16:56:00.000-08:00

Have I slept through two months and woken up on April Fools' Day? I've just read (in a reputable newspaper) that Holiday Inn hotels are to offer guests the opportunity to have their beds pre-warmed by members of staff who will lie in them before the guests retire for the night. WHAT? My first question is does the guest get to select the member of staff, because, call me picky, but the thought of some sweaty, greasy-haired fatso lying in my bed would not be conducive to a sweet night's sleep. What sort of ninny is being paid by Holiday Inns to come up with this rubbish? And haven't they heard of hot water bottles? Don't tell me - health and safety.

I finished Thomas the Tank and Oscar looks very smart in it. The trouble is he keeps pulling the jumper away from him so that he can see the train - not the ideal way to treat lambswool.

He took us all by surprise this week when he suddenly shouted "digger" as a digger drove past - he must have been working on that one. "Na" is "again" and I have discovered that Oscar particularly likes the 2006 Eurovision entry by Daz because I have now had to listen to it 2,000 times - responding to each "na"

SPRING

2010-02-09T16:47:00.000-08:00

I know it's probably not yet spring but looking over the beautiful flowers on the kitchen window ledge to the blue sky, yellow sun and white frost and seeing the birds flit from branch to branch - I'm in heaven. This is the best bit - the time of year when there's so much to look forward to. And never again will I dream of winning the lottery. I read yesterday about a millionaire in Austria who had worked every hour God sent to accumulate his vast wealth. He has now sold everything and given it all away because he realised that it wasn't making him happy. The multi-star hotel in Hawaii where he had his last holiday was without soul and the people staying there, shallow. Mind you, I'd still like to have the money, just so that I could give it away.

I've finished the P.D. James book and had to control my urge to look at the last chapter to see who dun it. So now that's out of the way I can concentrate on knitting the Thomas the Tank jumper that's on the go.

P.D.JAMES

2010-02-02T17:18:00.000-08:00

I've arrived rather late at P.D.James's novels. I've been looking for ages for a book I can't put down and I only decided to dip into one of her books when I heard her interviewing the DG of the BBC on Radio 4. She sounded intelligent and forthright and was a formidable interviewer. The book kept me quiet all the way from Euston to Lime Street and right through a football match on television last night. It's great to have a book to enjoy again.

DOUBLE YOLKERS

2010-02-02T16:55:00.000-08:00

Apparently the odds of getting six double yolked eggs in a carton of six is a trillion to one. Our local greengrocer used to advertise his large white hens' eggs as "double yolkers" and promised to replace any that turned out not to be. Over the years, buying a carton a week, I never had cause to ask for any to be replaced. I wonder if he or the hen realised what an extraordinary feat this was.

LONDON

2010-02-01T22:07:00.000-08:00

We've just had a weekend of enjoying Christmas presents. My present to my husband was a weekend in London at a hotel overlooking the Thames with a theatre visit on the Saturday night. We went to The Rise and Fall of Little Voice at the Vaudeville Theatre - it was the final performance and the cast were visibly moved by the standing ovation and the flowers that were thrown onto the stage.

On the Saturday afternoon we joined our younger son and his girlfriend for the Christmas present he'd given us - afternoon tea at a Mayfair hotel. It was quite an experience and we'll remember it for a long time. We were waited on hand and foot and our plates of delicious little sandwiches, warm scones and miniature cakes and desserts were constantly replenished - I have a feeling that Brown's Hotel might now increase the price of their afternoon teas to cover what we ate between us. We had more than 20 teas to choose from and our cups were topped up every other minute - it was sheer bliss and it's how I'll live when I win the lottery.

Our weekend was made all the happier when Oscar's mum sent us photos of Oscar tucking into homemade fish pie. He'd been off his food and not his usual happy self before we left. However he's back on top form and ready for the off. His dad thinks the hat I bought him to keep his ears warm is a girl's but Oscar didn't seem to mind - he's as snug as a bug in a rug.

We've all just about recovered from whatever horrible bug we had but coming home from London on Sunday night we had the misfortune to share a rail relacement bus with a student who had one of the worst coughs I've ever heard and she'd obviously never heard of "coughs and sneezes spread diseases" or handkerchiefs so we're dosing up on Vicks First Defence and saying our prayers.

FOR SALE

2010-01-19T17:37:00.000-08:00

Two 2 seater settees and one armchair. Cost £2,500 two years ago. Now £475.

Interested? Want more info? email me on atkinsondeb@hotmail.com

CAMBRIDGE

2010-01-19T16:22:00.000-08:00

We went to Cambridge at the weekend to see the fantastic light show that concluded the 800th anniversary celebrations. The London son met up with us there - I'm glad he did, otherwise I'd have been looking at the lights on my own. His dad had to go back to the hotel half way through the meal at Loch Fyne suffering from a terrible cough and cold. Seven members of our family have now had this nasty bug which also involves sickness. I have a feeling it's been the norovirus - the same bug that shuts down cruise ships. I'm hoping that we're now immune to it and even if it hits our cruise in the summer, we'll be as right as rain.

It's lovely to see Oscar eating heartily once again. The bug hit him particularly hard and he couldn't even be tempted with his favourite carrot crisps. But he's now rocking away in his car seat to "The Wheels on the Bus" .

peeping through the stairs

and tucking into anything he can lay his hands on

REDWINGS

2010-01-08T22:55:00.000-08:00

I'm thoroughly fed up now with looking out of the window and seeing white. The novelty has well and truly worn off. One benefit though of this snowy weather has been that we have a family of four redwings living in our holly bush. The downside of this however is that our beautiful Christmassy red-berried bush now has approximately six berries left intact - make that five.

TRA LAA!

2010-01-01T17:28:00.000-08:00

The letter wot I wrote to The Times a couple of days ago is in today's paper. Hurray http://www.timesonline.co.uk/tol/comment/letters/article6973371.ece

REUNITED

2010-01-01T16:18:00.000-08:00

THE BLANKET

2010-01-01T02:25:00.000-08:00

The best New Year present was the discovery of Oscar's blanket in Monsoon! The blanket, which was knitted before he even saw the light of day, has become a bedtime favourite and a real little friend, so it was a disaster when it was mislaid during a New Year's Eve shopping trip. His dad emailed: "How long would it take you to knit another blanket?" The wool was out of the bag before you could say knit one purl one and I swear there was smoke coming from my knitting needles. Forget fireworks, forget auld lang syne, midnight found me crossing rows off a knitting pattern - and so did New Year's morning - but I knew deep down that whatever I produced would never really take the place of the old, greying blanket. So I was absolutely over the moon when Oscar's mum sent me a text to say that the precious item had been found by Monsoon's cleaning staff and was awaiting collection. So I can knit at a more leisurely pace now and this one can be a reserve - I think I'll do what farmers do when they want a sheep to accept a lamb that isn't theirs - I'll rub the new blanket on the old - just to be on the safe side!

Tucking into roast goose and bread sauce on New Year's Day