THE MAN FROM STRATFORD

Back from the cruise, and full of hayfever - we went to see Simon Callow last night in his touring one-man-show "The Man from Stratford". He was absolutely fantastic. He took the stage for two hours wearing a pair of old grey trousers and a crumpled white shirt and transported us back to Shakespeare's time, with priceless cameos from many of the plays, illustrating a life that starts and ends in Stratford but has so much in between. I just hope that students studying plays for A level (do they still do that?)  get the chance to see this touring play.

While we were away Oscar was busy bouncing on his new trampoline,  decorating his wendy house and sliding down his slide.

 

But one of the things he likes doing best is telling  the little spiders (ants) that he's going to have some "juice". He can just about say "pider" but at times it sounds like "murder" and the other day when his dad was tidying up after a chicken dinner he said to Oscar "should we put mummy's bones in the bin?"  "murder" shouted Oscar - who we all hope had just spotted one of his eight-legged friends.

COME ON ENGLAND

Oscar's soccer-oblivious dad was hoping that he could keep his son in a football-free zone - not a chance! Aunty Lala (not the name we chose for her, but the one Oscar prefers) came home with a mini England kit this week.

and the pair of them were busy trying to secure a multi-million pound deal with Fabio Capello at the weekend.  So, between that and his football-mad uncle, I'd say that Oscar's dad had better start swotting up on the off-side rule.

We went to the beach in the pouring rain on Friday to see a vintage plane fly-past. Oscar took a cursory glance at the sky but gave the impression that the planes were disturbing his artistic attempts at drawing mama and dada in the mud.

JUSTICE

I can put my marching shoes away. Cameron is at number 10 and justice has been done. To celebrate we sent up a Chinese lantern - the only trouble is it might have given neighbours the impression that we were BNP supporters.

Thank goodness but what am I going to watch on television now?

OH NO YOU DON'T

You nasty, unprincipled, scheming  toad.

If  the two parties which the electorate voted second and third get their ugly heads together and take power, I'm marching to Downing Street.

PETER KAY

Forget foul-mouthed Ricky Gervais and bigoted (oh yes) Jimmy Carr. Peter Kay is THE man. We saw him yesterday on the second night of his tour and he was completely fantastic. New material, hardly any "blue for the dads" and so funny that a group of teenage boys in front of us were literally crying with laughter. He got a long standing ovation and boy, did he deserve it. We've booked to see his show again in November 2011 and I'm counting the days.

I think Oscar's dad is turning into Fagin and sending his 18-month-old son out looking for cash. We walked down to the village the other day and Oscar spotted a ten pence piece on the pavement. It went straight into a deep trouser pocket with the words "dada". Another two shiney coins were discovered during the same walk and went the way of the first. The next day I asked Oscar to put my change into my purse for me. The minute I handed it over he ran off like the wind shouting "dada" . I'll have to look into this....

"aaaah, there's a coin, in the grounds of the bank"

Back with his spoils - we can look but we can't touch

SCOTTISH ICE CREAM

Oscar has been sightseeing in Edinburgh with his mum and dad. The bit of the holiday he enjoyed best however was the bowl of ice cream after the evening meal - during which he perfected the two-spoon trick.

all gone

THE DAILY MAIL

I've always told my husband that he shouldn't read the Daily Mail