ST PAUL'S EYE HOSPITAL

Not the sort of place I would normally propose for a day out but if you have to visit an eye hospital I can recommend this one. After seeing flashing lights for three weeks I decided I'd better do something about it when they changed from innocent white spots to the full-blown Blackpool illuminations - scary. Thank God for the internet. Apparently I'm just getting older (as if the wrinkles couldn't prove their own point, they had to enlist the help of the heavy brigade) and the flashing lights signified that the vitreous gel was pulling away from the back of my retina. The main worry being that in pulling, it could take some of my retina with it. Full marks and more to everyone at the eye hospital and I came away calmer but blinder thanks to the pupil-dilating drops. Now two spiders legs have replaced the illuminations and I suppose I'll have to live with that - well, I can hardly do what I normally do with spiders - run away. However fast I run, they're staying put.