BOB DYLAN

Yes, he's 70 and allowances have to be made, but if you take £75 a ticket from fans and then don't even say hello and add insult to injury by raspingly shouting song words into a microphone battling with an over-loud band you shouldn't be surprised by a review giving one star out of five - which unfortunately, I saw in the paper after buying the tickets.

This was a prime example of ripping fans off in a blatant attempt to feather his pension nest. I only recognised two songs because everything he sang sounded the same - rasping, shouting, with loud music. And "Don't Think Twice" was three-quarters of the way through before I latched on to the fact that that was what he was "singing". I felt particularly sorry for the people in the seats opposite ours because for almost the whole show, Dylan had his back to them while playing the keyboard behing two giant speakers. He refused to have close-up screens and his hat completely hid his face. So it could even have been someone of 5ft 2ins in cuban heels impersonating him for all we knew. Plenty of wine and beer was swilling around the MEN and some old-timers were jigging around appreciatively but this morning I bet they can't remember why.

Mark Knopfler was the support act and Dire Straits were my all-time favourite band so I had high hopes. But I just don't like his new stuff. He got the biggest cheer of the night when, almost as an afterthought at the end of his slot,  he treated us to "So Far Away" - one of only two Dire Straits songs he managed to fit in. 

So my message to self is - don't try to recapture your youth. It just has the opposite effect.