OUR INNOCENT SON

It’s the London son’s last couple of days with innocent drinks before he moves to pastures new.  While there he became famous, or perhaps infamous, for his taste in clothes (ie tartan trousers). This came as no surprise to us – he’s always had a penchant for the, how shall I put it, unorthodox………  (Sorry about this Matthew – I had my arm twisted by a very nice lady at Fruit Towers.)

the lure of the tartan was always there...

and it seems like only yesterday since this one was taken..... Soooo innocent -

baby opsmatt

ST PAUL'S EYE HOSPITAL

Not the sort of place I would normally propose for a day out but if you have to visit an eye hospital I can recommend this one. After seeing flashing lights for three weeks I decided I'd better do something about it when they changed from innocent white spots to the full-blown Blackpool illuminations - scary. Thank God for the internet. Apparently I'm just getting older (as if the wrinkles couldn't prove their own point, they had to enlist the help of the heavy brigade) and the flashing lights signified that the vitreous gel was pulling away from the back of my retina. The main worry being that in pulling, it could take some of my retina with it. Full marks and more to everyone at the eye hospital and I came away calmer but blinder thanks to the pupil-dilating drops. Now two spiders legs have replaced the illuminations and I suppose I'll have to live with that - well, I can hardly do what I normally do with spiders - run away. However fast I run, they're staying put.

COLD CHEESE AT DOBBIES

I went for lunch with a friend to the brand new Dobbies Garden Centre yesterday. Millions have been spent on it and there's a fairly impressive deli there - but it's chaotic. You can't find the tills and then when you do only one is open, there are no bags for the frozen fruit and croissants and no-one knows if the deli cafe is open or not. After I'd left my friend continued to browse and I've just received an email from her saying that a voice over the tannoy told everyone to visit the deli where they could sample cold cheeses. Then the young boy who'd made the announcement arrived looking all pink and embarrassed after using the mike for the first time and picked on my friend to ask how she thought it went. She told him that cold cheeses didn't sound particularly appetising. Apparently it was supposed to be "cold meats and cheeses" but he said he was flustered and left it out!

Talking of cheese, the London son has been up till all hours waiting to pounce on his new lodger - a mouse. After a sleepless night he went out and spent a fortune on plug-in sonic devices and he says if that doesn't do the trick it can dine on five plates of pelletts.

THE OPEN GOLF ROYAL BIRKDALE

Just in case anyone visiting this site is also thinking of visiting Royal Birkdale for this year's Open Golf - BEWARE! If you're going to buy your tickets online don't be fooled into paying VAT and £10 postage which is what some sites are asking. Go to the Royal and Ancient website - you'll only pay £1 for postage.

OUR DAUGHTER

Our daughter asked if anyone wanted anything as she was walking down to the village to get her eyebrows done. Yes please, said my husband, Can you get me an evening paper? and he handed over £1. After the evening meal, he realised that he hadn't seen the paper - where is it, he wanted to know. Apparently she'd completely forgotten about it and when she got the £14 out of her purse to pay the beautician she was surprised to find that she also had enough left for a tip!

Yesterday saw her at the sailing club. During a visit to Centre Parcs her skills on the lake had been admired and that was enough to encourage her to join the local club and enrol on a four-day training course.  She soon discovered that the yachts they use here are somewhat bigger that those at Centre Parcs and found herself in the freezing water within minutes (although she does claim that it was the instructer's fault). However when she got home at the end of day one she had the look of a salty sea dog about her - all tanned and windswept - back today for more.......

ISIHAC

We went to see I'm Sorry I Haven't A Clue at the Lowry. Humphrey Lyttelton is a scream.





Yesterday I went to a homeopath, having, in the past 12 months, tried every doctor, consultant, prescriptive remedy, over-the-counter and under-the-counter tablet, medicine and spray for asthma and catarrh. She spent two hours asking me about myself (it was a good exercise in self awareness and  'control freak, very irritable, impatient, obstinate and dictatorial' were the pleasant character traits which she wrote in my file) and then she pinpointed the treatment. It worked within five minutes. After previously required nasal sprays and asthma inhalers at least five times a day and during the night, I have lifted up my bed and walked. I haven't needed a single shot, puff or tablet since I dissolved that tiny pillule on my tongue. Halleluja.